Single, Saved…But Lord Help me be Satisfied

Dear beloved,
I know for sure that being single isn't something most people will plan for. Naturally, we crave attention and love. So when in that season or realize that you might have been called to celibacy, many questions linger on. You wonder why sometimes God doesn’t give us what we want. Does He even love us? Why does He bless most of our friends with the very thing we would die for?

You feel abandoned. Lonely. Sometimes jealous. Contentment becomes foreign and far-fetched. On the good days – you go for missions and do amazing things to propagate kingdom interest and self. Hiking, horse riding, road trip, you name them. Other times you do investments, go for vacation or just throw a BBQ at the backyard gazebo. Sometimes you get over it. But other times the emotions prowling in the dark corners overwhelm - like when you get five wedding invitations in a span of a month from close people- it happens.

Singles respond differently. Others take it harder than others. Like one single friend who had visitors at her place. The single brother was among the early birds to arrive for a get-together and so was privileged to sample the said good friends’ delicacy beforehand. On complimenting her about her culinary prowess, you wouldn’t expect the fire she shot back. ‘Trina, your cooking is awesome,” the brother had said innocently. “I know or you thought as a single woman I don’t know how to cook? Yeah, we cook, and so you know, we also can buy cookers and fit them in our kitchens!” she retorted. The awkwardness that ensued…woii. Lord have mercy. All was grave quiet expect for sympathy written on our face for the young man. It hadn’t occurred to me that some of us really take singlehood that hard. The girl was seriously bitter and a simple complement was the jab she needed to spit fire and brimstone. Many of us are an emotional mess. And we think it's impossible to feel any differently about being single — to trade the anger, loneliness, the longing for the joy of the Lord.

So here you are single, saved but praying—Lord help me to be satisfied

Few things you need to bear in mind from a sister who has been there or probably is there:

• You may actually never get married; one area that we can only hope for is this. There are no guarantees that you will get married. It’s a gift and the same way God chooses to gift others for marriage, He may choose you for Himself. It is a harsh reality especially when you already have your wedding picturesque and theme colors all set in your dream book except the image of the groom. However, letting this possibility sink helps in dealing with the pain of potential loss of a dream and clarity to look at life from a different spectrum.
• It’s possible to find contentment in singlehood. How? Sadly, most of us have been made to believe that for contentment to happen, we must get married, or rid self of any desire to ever be married. Not true. The secret is finding completeness in Christ so that when the discontentment comes, you are able to find confidence in Him. Being content will not remove your desires. Like a clock hand moving, you can be content today as a single and still want to get married tomorrow. It is okay. That shouldn’t worry you. Christ our example was content about going to the cross to do the Fathers will, but at Gethsemane when He prays for the Father to take His cup if it pleases, we realize that He didn't really want to go. However, because He purposed to do the Father's will, that desire surpassed all else. Contentment is sometimes wanting to let the cup pass but saying “Yet not my will but Yours Lord”. Is it easy? No.
• Contentment is more of a decision. It is not a feeling. It's willpower to be gratified with what God has given you today even when your heart wants more. And yes, it's possible to be content in your single state and finding satisfaction in Christ. “For in Him, all the fullness of Deity dwells in the bodily form…and in Him you have been made complete” (Colossians 2:9-10).
• Marriage isn’t a superior state over singleness - it's just different. The attitude you carry when single affect your marriage in a big way. If you feel not satisfied as a Single, Marriage will not make you merrier. Marriage doesn’t fill a void and your dissatisfaction will not be met by a man or woman. Married life I suppose has wonderful blessings and unique challenges, but isn’t better than being single – it’s just different in terms of set new blessing and challenges presented.
• Make use of your “yes” spontaneity. You know why, you have what it takes to change your attitude towards singlehood. As single, it’s so easy to say “yes” to coffee, a two weeks mission across your national frontier, a movie down town or even a sleep over and social hangout etc. Something a married person will not even think of under normal circumstances. Girl, enjoy your “yes’ spontaneity. 

Keep positive and just know; if you think your married friends are better off, that God has forgotten about you, I guarantee you'll be miserable. If you choose to believe that you are where God wants you to be, marriage doesn't bring ultimate satisfaction and that being unattached isn't an insignia of dishonor, your emotions will be healed.

Enjoy it darling…gracia     

                                  

Love

Sisters’ Keeper!

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