Dear lady, just saying…

I know you want to get married and it is great. But if it be possible by you, please stay alone by yourself for a while before moving in to be someone’s wife.  One day, you will be with a man and a family of your own and you will look back and be glad you spend that little time by yourself. By this, I mean just having a little place of your own that after a day’s “hustle” you walk in and breathe a sigh. 

That place that you can walk in and just get tucked in on a Friday night and watch a series till 4 am and not feel guilty that you inconvenienced somebody. That place that when you hanged out with a friend for dinner after work left you sorted. You don’t walk in wondering whether the mama mboga who supplies your grocery has closed because there is someone you need to feed. Have that time so that one day when you just feel lazy, you can walk home with your fries or pizza and enjoy the night away without lighting the gas cooker.  Stay alone for a while and just enjoy the moment of not having to worry about cooking a pot of number 32 or otherwise, kisiagi ugali for a man from “western” who vowed on his grandfather’s life never to eat number one flour ugali; That you must bake the African cake even when all your heart will be soothed with that day is a Hawaiian chicken pizza or a bowl of ice cream.

 Stay alone for a while and just enjoy the pleasure of having things done your way. To enjoy having to wear “doom,angamiza mbu” t-shirt for pyjamas without someone looking at you like “what the hell do you think you are wearing to bed?”  To enjoy sleeping up to noon on those particular weekends and just rolling on the bed at all angles. To enjoy occasional movie in bed as you munch the sugary cookies the dentist warned you about but who cares, it’s just once in a while and we will brush the teeth later anyways; or licking a candy long into the night and hosting girlfriends too for sleep overs; those friends you can talk to for hours until you realize morning is here. Yes, those ones that are accountability partners. The ones that you can watch and analyze “war room” the movie like gazillion times but always feels like the first time.

Truth is, you will be glad you gave yourself such treats and maximized your single days. You will remember this when you are married and you can’t even watch the only single show that you have subscribed too. Those times that you wish you could watch “ The Diary of a Mad Black Woman” and all he wants to watch is “Situation Critical ” which I enjoy by the way since I began following . Or on that Saturday afternoon when he is watching soccer with his friends and you think it’s about time you catch up with the “ American Wives” and the babies are stuck with the remote switching between Disney Junior and JimJam and you end up folding and ironing the laundry instead.

By all means if you can, stay alone first. You will later treasure those moments.

Love…

Sisters Keeper!