What is this hullabaloo about feminism?...I will cook 4 my Husband!

Dear sister,

What is this hullabaloo about feminism?...I will cook 4 my Husband!

I will not boast that I am highly educated but  I am smart enough to differentiate right from wrong. I will still go to school and even with my PHD Certificate from the most prestigious university you can think of, I will still cook for my husband…(bless him wherever he is). I am a “feminist” too but that wouldn’t stop me from washing his nickers and cooking for him. Now I keep hearing how some of us speak things and am worried. The writer of Ecclesiastes 12 writes that there is nothing new under the sun, and of making books there is no end. The conclusion of the matter is to fear God. Ideologies we hardly comprehend will come and go but if you are a Christ-professing lady like I am, you know that flowers will bloom today and wither tomorrow but the Word of God will still stand!

So, let’s chat about this thing of ooh, ‘how can I go to work and both us come home and he stretches in the sofa while I cook?’ ,’We need equality’, etc. Good. And as a misinformed feminist, you say. “I have rights too and am tired, let us make cooking duty rota or order Japanese squid, whatever that is. Okaaay.

You see, a feminism dictionary definition simply is the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. A feminist therefore supports the feminism ideology which is ‘good’ by all means. That both sexes should have access to education, jobs  etc.  To be honest, I’d truly feel bad if I am sidelined at the place of work for  a promotion I competitively applied for with a fellow male colleague and I am maligned because I am a woman who perhaps is even more qualified. That is good, but hear me out lady;

 When you get to your house, you are under the headship of your husband. The hierarchy of God will never change; It will always be God covering the man, who covers the woman and she covers the children in that order. I know some of you have already prodded my forehead with the barrel of a gun right now for the 10^th time but listen. What does feminism have to do with your relationship with your husband? Feminist intention is good but don’t let some philosophers ideology hoodwink you to thinking that if I am cooking, he has to do dishes. I know you already want to shoot at me with the gender roles definition but just hold on a second. It is simple; a good woman builds her home with her hands. Trust me; the starring advocates of feminism have their houses in order. They are not championing for miniature causes of who should cook and do dishes but rather bigger agendas that violates a girl child and especially outside the home.

So, before you say how much of a feminist you are, I want you to consider Chimamanda Adichie. I don’t know her personally other than from some of her books and Ted shows. I love her and her aggression on the ideology but she still keeps her family under wraps. I am not insinuating that she is doing that by scrubbing the floor or preparing jollof rice but rather, we should have our priority right before moving with the bandwagon of misinformed crowd who can’t correctly define feminist agenda.

You see, marriage is not a play. Two people decide to compromise on a few things or maybe big things for the sake of the other.  Ideally, we shouldn’t enter with a win-lose mentality but agreeing to disagree kind of attitude. Having said that, sisters , especially in the Lord, the man will always be the head. And if by any chance you feel you can’t willingly submit to the man even when he has loved you in the best way he knows how to, then by all means don’t get married.

 And about how can I do all those things and yet I am also a professional woman. Let’s go back to the Proverbs 31 woman a bit. Those things she did are so many and can drive any woman crazy if you attempt them. So that you know, she was a working or rather a business woman who did other side things. She was wise, could wake up so early when it was still dark to set her house in order. Even though she had helps and her husband was so rich that she didn’t have to work to survive, she kicked those blankets to run her errand.

However, her secret was simple, her source of strength. A divine strength she obtained by seeking the Lord and I am almost thinking that a prayer she made every day was the Philippians 4:13 kind of prayer. “Where like the Psalmist in 73:26, she acknowledges that her flesh may fail terribly many times but the Lord God is the strength of her heart. She would boldly declare with each new day that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her.” 

In short, I will go to work every other day but as I get home, I will throw away my heels and wear the apron and serve my husband. And yes, when I get to the office the next day, my title as the madam boss wouldn’t have melted. I will still be the Director of Communications, chairing executive meetings and developing company’s communications strategies with big minds. That notwithstanding, I finish by saying this;

 Let not little things kill your marriage or young family to be. Ask yourself hard, but good questions before you pocket that diamond engagement ring and share it on IG. Be sure you are ready to leave the “I” for ”we” and make yours a habitable home. Then we can talk about the exact meaning of the feminism concept.

Please don’t kill me with your words…

Intact Love,

Sisters Keeper,