The Single's Diary

No ring yet? Worry not

“How about you Take up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden,
write a novel, cook some gourmet meals!
Whatever you’ve ever wanted to do, do it now.
Trying something new can lead to new skills, friendships, and self esteem.”
  In a world where romantic relationships are part and parcel of life, it becomes almost impossible to avoid them. The media is talking about a wrecked marriage somewhere; your friends are getting married every weekend while others are crying for being heartbroken. People relate for different reasons, dealing with loneliness, to get identity, companionship, pleasure, affirmation or fulfilment. There is so much hype about relationships that it has gone to the extreme of going against what God constituted – gayism, lesbianism etc.

The other day, listening to one of the local Christian broadcasting station, a young lady called in and said something that I am pretty sure is a representation of many single believers. She was desperate because her biological clock was really ticking but no one really seemed to notice that she exists and she just didn’t understand why! She wanted to be loved and there is definitely nothing unusual about that. However, the fact that she was beginning to feel strange and missing something is what drove me to write this piece.

Do we really need to be married or in a romantic relationship to be happy and feel complete? By all means, no! Because, there is no way we can be happy in a relationship if we feel incomplete in Christ Jesus.

THE BIG Q

So then, the big question is, if you are still single, is it not about time you accept the situation? What then are we to do when we feel that our singleness has become an inadequate status in our personal growth? You have attended and keep attending friend’s weddings and engagements but seemingly, no one has had that eye on you! How long do you hang on? Will you just hold on just a little and then decide to waste your life by making a desperate choice?

Maybe you’ve prayed and fasted about the significant other and now you are asking “How long Lord must I wait?” but God is softly whispering to your ears, “Never mind child, just trust in me.” Though waiting silently is often the hardest things of all, it is concerning these emotions that we feel most deeply that we ought to be silent until we have thoroughly talked it over with God. He wants you to wait on him. Love sickness may seem a small thing compared to other sicknesses but yes, one who is sick with love is sick indeed and our Father understands that all too well.

ENJOYING YOUR SEASON

ü  Truly speaking, sometimes loneliness we feel inside hurts so much and badly wounds us but it is important to shift our perspectives on the same so as to enjoy singlehood and come to the knowledge that it’s a season and by no means make us inferior.

ü   When lonely, often too much stillness is what surrounds us and envelopes our souls and we begin to long for something to quench that aloneness. Therefore, at such time, the favor you can do to yourself is to be still and know that He is God! Rather than spending time building castles in the air or perhaps doing wishful thinking, being quiet before the Lord and seeking Him will grant you much more deep satisfaction and help built upon your faith.

ü  Knowing that you are not alone in this should give you courage to press on. Many are going through the same test and are not yielding. Besides, the Lord is with you always and will never leave you. You have got something to hold unto sister or brother. And whether you feel His presence or not, He is definitely right there even amidst those tears that wet your pillow.

ü   Refusing self pity and accepting your loneliness is a strong strategy to overcoming it since self pity can drive you to suicidal levels and lower your esteem. The fact that it’s just a stage that is passing should give you joy that it isn’t forever.

JOY & COMPLETENESS IN CHRIST

The Apostle Paul wrote on future joys and emphasized that our joy now and here is possible even in our trials and hard times. Even when you are feeling most alone and when the one phone call or text you long for don’t come; you can still have so much joy in your heart if we take the word of God in the right spirit. For taking the Word in the right Spirit will bring about maturity in faith and character, endurance of being alone and silent with the uncertainty building in us a steady hope in Christ which does not disappoint (Romans 5:2-5).

Enjoy your singlehood as much as you can and get out of that cocoon of self-pity because you are much more than that, beloved. Perhaps if you have reached the place in your heart of asking God to just take all your longing away or giving what you long for, try and listen to His voice. Maybe He wants to teach you to long for something better. A career, good marriage, enviable relationship or even motherhood is not enough to totally satisfy you and God knows you will never be complete until you really understand that you are complete in Christ. “For in Him, all the fullness of Deity dwells in the bodily form…and in Him you have been made complete” (Colossians 2:9-10).

An excerpt from a book by Jackie Kendall emphasizes that the lady in waiting isn’t about finding the right man but becoming the right woman. The lady in waiting recklessly abandons herself to the Lordship of Christ, diligently uses her single days, trusts God with unwavering faith, demonstrates virtue in her daily life, loves God with undistracted devotion, stands for physical and emotional purity, lives in security, responds to life in contentment, makes choices based on her convictions and waits patiently for God to meet her needs.

Wait on the Lord!