Praying for a spouse…

Anything to do with the beach excites me. I love the tranquility of the beach in the early mornings. The sensation that the rising sun leaves as it strokes my face. So on one particular occasion when I was feeling down, I booked a vehicle and off I cruised to the beautiful Kenyan coast. Precisely, Kilifi.

In such times, I pray. I write letters to God. I write my fears to Him and express my truest and raw emotions to Him. With my letters nicely folded, I trudge along the beach. The cool sensation refreshing me as my feet kisses the wet sand and the breeze caresses my nostrils. Other times it is evenings; with the sunset glowing orange reflections over the waters. I find a calm spot. I meditate. I read my letters aloud. Smile. Sometimes cry if it’s a sad one. Then I pray and tore them throwing the pieces into the waters… (Don’t shoot me, I know it messes the ocean but at least its biodegradable right?) This time, I had written my prayer for a spouse on it. I wrote many things about what I wanted in that man. Most of it about the unrealistic expectations we normally have. I told God what I wanted, anyway. 

Fast forward …With time and grace to grow some more in Him, I realized that sometimes we are wrong. I was wrong.   We see a brother who seemingly has it all and we pray with insistence that God gives us him.  We even pray by the man’s name. We insist that he has to be the one. We forget that God knows the plans that He has for us. Good plans to give us a hope and a future. Then we decide on exactly what we want.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

He doesn’t withhold any perfect or good gift from us. Like a daddy who loves us, God yearns to protect us. He already sees the future that you and I can’t visualize and sometimes holding that darling fiancé from you is to your good. Unfortunately, because He has given us free will, He cannot protect you from yourself if you decide to pursue a relationship or course which He has spoken to you against.

Grace changes things. And as David Platt wrote and said, “God's] gift of grace involves the gift of a new heart. New desires. New longings. For the first time, we want God. We see our need for him, and we love him. We seek after him, and we find him, and we discover that he is indeed the great reward for our salvation. . . . [W]e are saved to know God. So we yearn for him".  Grace changed my perspective.With time, I realized that I have been making some rather selfish prayers on matters spouse. 

Few things I learnt when it came to praying for Him: 

·         Give thanks in all things for this is the will of God for us.

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

It’s hard to be thankful when you feel that God doesn’t care about your desires. However, we should learn to thank God for singlehood opportunity to praise Him, to cultivate our faith and above all else to grow in our dependence on Him. Give thanks for the things you most want Him to change. Give thanks for the strong desire for marriage He has put into you. And talk to Him.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:6–7). Present your desires to Him, with the humility of supplication and crown it with thanksgiving.

·         Desire for His Will.

When Jesus teaches the disciples the Lord’s Prayer, he says when you pray say “Let your Kingdom come, let your will be done…” It is not about praying for what you want but what God’s will is for you.

When Samuel goes to anoint the sons of Jesse’ He sees one and in his heart feels that this must be the one but what happens. God quickly rebukes him saying.” "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 His will is not necessarily what we want.

So now, what if God answers your prayers differently? Then lo and behold stands the man but the package is not what you really want? Praying for His will to be done makes Him able to transform the desires of your heart to align with His. When your desire becomes congruent with His, you’ll be satisfied with the package as it comes. Why? Because, marriage then becomes bigger than you; it becomes a reflection of God’s bigger picture of the love of Christ and His church. We may never get to understand this with our limited minds, but the Holy Spirit makes it possible through revelation  to grasp it in our spirits and confidently pray like Jesus at Gethsemane "Yet not my will Father, but Thy will be done."

The whole point of prayer really is to grow in our relationship with the maker. The more we talk and listen, the more God opens our eyes to discern His will for. And nothing beats a heart that has perceived the Fathers will and is willing to obey. In essence then as we grow closer to Him, our desires shift from what we want to what He deems best for us. Our desires like Joseph become to honor Him and walk in His leading.”… How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?"(Genesis 39:9).

After you’ve prayed to God to find a husband, then trust Him completely. Don’t worry about the when will he show up, where is he or how will you meet him. Trust God. Psalms 27:13-14) David says ^“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”

It is okay to be afraid sometimes and wonder if the right one will pop up. We are human. But whatever happens, don’t let that fallacy of shortage of men replace your faith with fear. One thing you should be confident of is this, that if it is God’s Plan that you be married someday, you will be married.He who began the good work in you will bring it into perfect completion…not necessarily end result being marriage but perfect glory in His Son.

Submit and let God begin to take charge.
Yours Truly,

Sisters’ Keeper.
#TrippleS118