Desert; a Place of Hiding

Look up and see His grandeur

Be still and know I am God
Desert; a place of hiding
Looking at the story of Moses in Exodus, I realized that a desert is a place of chastening to those that the Lord loves. It is also a place of encountering grace underserved and Gods amazing glory. Moses, experienced the grace, was chastened until in the book of Numbers, the Lord Himself declares that Moses is the most humble man ever!
And scrutinizing Abraham, a desert is a place of cementing friendship with God. God himself calls Abraham His friend.
Before I lose you there, Elijah is our focus today. The reason he is hidden in the desert is to be protected from the wrath of Jezebel. An infuriated wicked woman who will not rest until every stone is turned upside down in a witch hunt for Elijah’s head.
One man Albert Osborn said
“Before speaking publicly about God, we ought to be sure that God’s Word is in our very bones burning for expression. For surely, thousands of our words will not equal a few of God’s Words’’
Elijah goes through thickets up to a brook and between the rock masses and scrawny of the brook is his hiding place. That was God’s choice for his hiding. The prophets in those days I presume put on a unique rob and sandals like akala…I want you to see the picture of Elijah; it’s a wilderness, in some rocky caves with tiny rocks like we learn in geography stalactites and stalagmites dangling from the top and floor of the cave. His beards are probably long, and his cloak somehow camouflaging with color of the rocks and cave. Blankly staring at what will be his abode for a long while.
There is a silence that enshrouds this place. He looks around with keenness, the screaming silence enveloping the cave. A silence that is only disturbed by occasional vacuous noises, melody from the ravens, a hissing snake at a distance, the chortle of the brook as it drops the liquid that quenches his throat from the scorch heat. The stillness, the Voice of God, his sequential heartbeat as he silently breathes the cold air into his nostrils, maybe a personal reflection…I don’t know.
I wonder what Elijah feels now or what his reflections look like. Is he thinking about Ahab, Jezebels cruelty, the people? Does he feel alone, forgotten and shunted off? I wonder if he cried out sometimes like David imploring the Lord asking “How long O Lord?”
Or does he enjoy the moment and find therapy in the silence? Is he able to tell of God’s marvelous acts by just analyzing the brook, as the ravens bring him food?
Or maybe as one writer once said, do the lofty rocks speak of God’s greatness and his littleness or of God’s grandeur?
Do the rocks also testify of God’s protective nature to shield us from our Jezebels or in his case the glaring scorch summer sun?
Does Elijah learn to embrace and read God’s natural book? do the skies vastness at night fill him with awe and wonder…would he have easily sang along the lyrics of God of wonders beyond the galaxy, From such a sight?
I have much wonderment…
From the inky blackness with myriad of stars, moon light so clear…not vying for attention from the kanjos streetlights; What about the brook, does he ever wonder as the single drops of water fall and hits the rock surface softly from the brook?
The melody from the flowing stream; does it leave him refreshed and have mystic impact in his inner man? Did he relish these moments, God’s providence of clean unpolluted water in the heart of a desert?
Well, even when ravens fly past his head and rest in a rock in his face with his dinner, does this sooth his soul amidst the adventure in the desert?
Does he get lost in the awesomeness of God?
The Bible tells that he was a man with nature just like ours… and this makes me wonder how he found the experience of being hidden in the desert.
In hiddenness silence like this is where we can think clearly and appreciate fully all things and hear distinctly. And I realized, stillness if I would compare it with a school, is that school where would be listeners to God must attend for a long time if they would learn the art.
Elijah waited for the Lord for a long time. There was a gushing wind, but the Lord was not in it, there was an earthquake, the Lord wasn’t in it, but then he chose to be still and in deep silence…He heard the Lord.
Do you have a hiding desert?

Pain Realities

Painful Realities

For the twenty something years I have lived, I have realised that most people have perpetually gone through pain in their life. Not like mother's delivery pain...that's totally on another level.
I mean, loss of a loved one, a broken marriage, an abusive partner,a heartbreak,a miscarriage, pain of not having your own baby and so fourth
Some somehow gun the courage to move through the valley of this "death" singlehandedly but the majority rely on the strength of those around that cares and love them.
Pain has a way of making us know how much strength we have.
With pain, we are caused to see things a little more differently unlike other folks.

A shoulder to lean on becomes essential when dealing with pain.
The saddest bit though is that those that seemingly offer moral support and walk with you through the turmoil are the ones hurting the most.
ECCEDENTESIAST is the term used to describe a person who hides there pain in a smile....
They give you hope to face your situation with boldness yet they are bleeding inside.
They encourage you with the last ounce of positivity in their blood stream when they need a repump if the same so badly.
Yes, they wipe your crancky face after that messy young relationship heartbreak when they are fighting a marriage on the rocks.
They pray for God to help you go through the pregnancy when they are still trusting God for just one baby after several years of marriage without any.
They will organize a surprise baby shower party for you even when they have longed for but haven't held a baby of their own in their arms.
They will spend hours praying for you who wants to settle with such vigour yet they are fighting the very same devil within their innermost being.
They will always be around like a big sis or bro you never had just to solve your problems.
They will have you cry all night in their company oozing your frustration without cutting you off. Only for you to realize when you leave next morning that you never had a chance to find out how they were and what they are battling.
They will never burden you with their issues at all!
They will battle cancer and chemotherapy silently and attend to you when you go ranting about a one thing that didn't go your way.
They will give you that sister's smile and wink when deep down they really wish you will notice that they too need a pillar to lean on.
May be a strong man to lean on, an understanding person to rely on.
They will do everything to make the people that matter around them happiest,even when they are hurting the most.
Yes, those people. That can hide their pain within a smile and make someone's day much exhilarating and cry out their chest later,perhaps alone, in a quiet place when the reality of having to deal with their real situations hits them hard.
They like to cry alone and chew the bones of their pain silently. They wet their pillows at night making desperate cries,pleas and sometimes just groans that can't be uttered, carnaly,senseless gibberish .
If they are spiritual, they pray and seek the Lord to find strength in Him.Sometimes when there is no strength to pray,they just lay there,quiet and still,sometimes shedding a tear or two,sometimes letting them flow like torrents without care but the bottom line is,they try to find strength for the valley.
Its always the broken souls that are always trying to help...
If you know any such a strong person... Let them know that you value them and you would love to be strong for them, take a bullet for them too like they have always done for you!!!
They too need a shoulder to lean on,
A real good one to rely on!

Silent therapy

Silence therapy...

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone. Silence is golden they say. It will hold you from speaking things that you can regret later on. And we all know,the worst thing that can happen is to yup aimlessly out of a haze of emotions and having to apologize later. On saying things and wishing you could get it off the tape.
Women speak about 10,000 words per day apparently but am not sure about that. What am learning however, is that waiting silently is one of the hardest disciplines one can develop. Lately, i have just been appreciating that the things we feel most deeply are what we ought to learn to be silent about atleast until we have talked over thoroughly with God.
Being quiet doesnt mean one is angry or sad,in most cases, silent treatment means seeking a higher mundane force(God) for clarity, affirmation, solace and direction.

Don't agonise over the *What's up* Q's.
Sometimes people keep silent because they just don't have the words to express the battle on their mind and heart. You may never understand even when you pat them on the shoulder and say *I get it*
Allow them to talk it over to the Lord and when time is right, they will loop you in depending the level of your interaction...

Yeah, silence is golden

Does anyone else feel this?

Well,I don't know about you but this definitely puts me off. I just didn't realize how high the perfectionism syrup flows in my veins until recently. All I remember is that according to psychologist Tim Lahaye writeup,I am a mel-phleg.A combination of a Melancholic who have an eye for perfection and and an over calm phlegmatic.
I quite often am not perturbed by small things like using different shades of same color in knitting, a not so round chapati the shape of a trapezium etc.
However,I am obsessed with having little things in absolute order. For instance having my bed neatly made from the beddings to the cover with edges flowing right at 90 degrees. I am that articulate that anything minus that leaves me unsatisfied. This morning, I felt the same urge when I borded a public matatu(a new motivation to work towards that black Toyota Harrier). It is absolutely quiet ,the screaming silence than can only compare to that in a deserted,bushy and unkept old cemetery that serves the posterity as reminder of loyal colonial fighters. Don't get me wrong,its 5am and every body aboard is silent. Perhaps meditating or trying to catch up with sleep within the short trip to town after waking up as witches pack up there bags after an active night. I don't quite sleep at such a time and so am often in the bandwagon of meditators. With soft gospel music playing in the bus when am lucky to abord one that plays Gospel tunes,am easily lost in the world of God and me. My garden of peace
So the other day, am in a bus at that wee hour and they are playing old school gospel that are abit high tempo for an early morning. The speaker and bass is high and meditation becomes impossible with such distraction. Then something happens when the music is transitioning and the perfection in me notes an odd thing and I can't help feeling let down. I wasnt very good with virtual DJ at campus but atleast I appreciated that to mix songs,its key to try and synchronize the tempos first. That it is not a mix if you jump cut from one song to another of totally different tempo,that is a playlist!!!!.There is a reason the mixer has a fade under and fade up button for the DJ to slowly but correctly loop  to the next. I was mad at the way the mix was flowing. Like seriously, who mixes *ahadi ya Bwana song and jumpcuts to a slow hymn *Bwana Mungu nashangaa kabisa*
Both songs are awesome and I enjoyed. My only concern though is how it was transitioned.If you are a DJ, I mean a practising Christian one,please just do it right.
Thank you.Am not suggesting that you have all your shoes arranged in a particular order or have your desktop with organized icon
Music is mystical and it takes us where many things can't,please do it and right and spare a sister agony at 5am!

My diary as an introvert

You may not understand when I tell you I can't hang out today and you pop in later at my place and find out that I am warmly tucked in my bed or couch...whichever I will deem appropriate then.That actually, what I meant by saying I have other engagement was simply to go and have me time. I meant,all I wanted was to be with self,perhaps a bowl of icecream if its  hot or a chocolate with cream and to be precise a cherry on top. One cherry.That the reason I turned your invite down wasn't to attend another one as I made you believe but rather to spend time in my oasis of peace. my secret Lake or garden as Robin Sharma would put it.
Its not that I can't hang out,it just happens that after being in several social gatherings, I am utterly drained and I need a recharge.
Hanging in crowdy places is something I can afford for short duration after which I have to take care of self in my secret place of peace where am away from the screams in the world,and nothing can rob of my tranquillity unless I permit.
So about the other day, I am not a moody gal who is a weirdo who doesn't seem to flow with multitude.
It just happens that the things that excites and leaves me tingly,an ordinary extrovert won't find appealing. When you see me quiet and aloof,not participating in conversation, its not that I am shy. I just get intrigued by mature, deep and meaningful talk.When I come across such individuals who understand my dynamic, I can talk for ages.
I am just a girl next door whose life is different.

Why do you pray?

Well, that’s something that I have been pondering on especially after this morning when a devastatingly painful choice had to be made and it hit me that my only solace is God. No amount of comfort could make sense and I only found myself comforted by screaming out to God.

And so I ask, why do you pray?

Do you pray because something bad has happened to trigger you to reach out to God?

Or do you pray to create and foster intimacy with God when everything is super cool.

Unfortunately, most of us fall in the category of them that seek the Lord when the rubber meets the road as an option of quick fix our situation.

When we pray with the intent of twisting God to act on our situations the way we want it to be like what we are doing is pretty wrong.

God can never be manipulated. We pray to catch up with Him and that in the intimacy of our conversation and getting to listen from God, we get in synched with the Holy Spirit. Once connected, the Holy Spirit who reveals to us all things and the mind of God begins to help us understand the place of God in that situation and how we eventually are to pray about it

Pray not because you want God to do something for you but pray that you may get to know who God is and hear Him and what He has to say in your situation…

Can I tame my mind?

Where to begin...

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12.2

 

Well, I have had opportunities to interact with couples who have endured the pain of long distance relationship and got to appreciate a few things. It was commonly agreed upon that distance played a big role in encouraging the couples to talk more and more because they are only limited to that to experience and know about each other. So mostly, skype date, phone calls and social media and sharing emojis was what was left for them. This not only opens door for a much more communication approaches but also highly reduced the temptation of falling into sexual sin. However, from an example from my friends, this had its downside as the couples tend to get overly close during the moments they get to be together and therefore makes them equally susceptible to sexual temptation as any other couples who see each other frequently.

My concern though is on the part of winning war against the mind. For most long distance relations, the couples rely on the endless conversation and chats to create vivid pictures and fill in the gaps.

As a result, this couples end up filling gaps with crazy fantasy and wild imaginations that to big extend ends up to be used as an alternative to deal with the loneliness. In the process of filling in the other with what’s happening, and wanting to express the emotions how you feel them, this lot gets easily inclined to share erotic messages to substitute physical affection distance is limiting. Both straight Christian couples and non-end up being victims of the same.

As believer however, how are we able to win this war against the flesh and impure thoughts when courting whether long and close distance relationship?

The Bible clearly states that three things are the sources of all our struggle as far as upholding purity of any kind is concerned.

• The pride of Life
• The pride of the Eyes
•  The lusts of the flesh

This three determine our course of action and our quest for purity in such a huge way that you are either winning or losing the battle. Of interest also is the three key gates that if not well controlled can see you wallow in the waste of impurity. Namely

• The gates of the eyes
• The gate of the Mind
• The gate of the heart

Eyes serve as a visual aid and gateway to what we feed our minds with. The mind in turns takes in and persuades the heart that a little wild thinking, lustful thinking, double entendres and daydreams are okay. The heart then after being convinced then pours fourth the fruits and we collectively agree that out of the abundance of this organ the mouth shall speak fourth.

I want to win this war but where do I start you ask?

Well, I am not a guru and I do not have a to do list on how to get rid of impure thoughts but one thing I know is that the battle begins with our eyes.

When we control and regulate what our eyes take it, the mind will be limited to what we feed it with from movies, to the books we read etc. and our hearts will not be left at a vulnerable position.

Controlling the eyes is not the easiest of things but certainly something workable. Job in the 31^st chapter says he has chosen to be intentional and make a covenant with his eyes not to look at a woman lustfully. That simply put means he will be deliberate about the things he rivets his attention from so that he doesn’t feed the mind with the wrong food knowing that the repercussion will eventually affect the heart and the battle on purity.

Just to ponder on,

Making a covenant with your eyes will save your skin in many ways but it takes time to develop the discipline.

The art of creating a shield around yourself will also be super awesome. For instance, the knowledge that as a believer, you have been bought at a price and you are not your own, you are the Lords. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Always arise and take captive every arguments, thoughts and pretentions that raises themselves against the knowledge of God in your life 2 Corinthians 10:5

It’s a tough battle but we are more than conquerors…do not feel condemned. You are loved and you can do this.