Where to begin...
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by
the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of
God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12.2
Well, I have had opportunities to interact with couples who
have endured the pain of long distance relationship and got to appreciate a few
things. It was commonly agreed upon that distance played a big role in
encouraging the couples to talk more and more because they are only limited to
that to experience and know about each other. So mostly, skype date, phone
calls and social media and sharing emojis was what was left for them. This not
only opens door for a much more communication approaches but also highly
reduced the temptation of falling into sexual sin. However, from an example
from my friends, this had its downside as the couples tend to get overly close
during the moments they get to be together and therefore makes them equally
susceptible to sexual temptation as any other couples who see each other
frequently.
My concern though is on the part of winning war against the
mind. For most long distance relations, the couples rely on the endless conversation
and chats to create vivid pictures and fill in the gaps.
As a result, this couples end up filling gaps with crazy
fantasy and wild imaginations that to big extend ends up to be used as an
alternative to deal with the loneliness. In the process of filling in the other
with what’s happening, and wanting to express the emotions how you feel them, this
lot gets easily inclined to share erotic messages to substitute physical
affection distance is limiting. Both straight Christian couples and non-end up
being victims of the same.
As believer however, how are we able to win this war against
the flesh and impure thoughts when courting whether long and close distance
relationship?
The Bible clearly states that three things are the sources of
all our struggle as far as upholding purity of any kind is concerned.
- The pride of Life
- The pride of the Eyes
- The lusts of the flesh
This three determine our course of action and our quest for
purity in such a huge way that you are either winning or losing the battle. Of
interest also is the three key gates that if not well controlled can see you
wallow in the waste of impurity. Namely
- The gates of the eyes
- The gate of the Mind
- The gate of the heart
Eyes serve as a visual aid and gateway to what we feed our
minds with. The mind in turns takes in and persuades the heart that a little
wild thinking, lustful thinking, double entendres and daydreams are okay. The
heart then after being convinced then pours fourth the fruits and we
collectively agree that out of the abundance of this organ the mouth shall
speak fourth.
I want
to win this war but where do I start you ask?
Well, I am not a guru and I do not have a to do list on how
to get rid of impure thoughts but one thing I know is that the battle begins
with our eyes.
When we control and regulate what our eyes take it, the mind will
be limited to what we feed it with from movies, to the books we read etc. and
our hearts will not be left at a vulnerable position.
Controlling the eyes is not the easiest of things but
certainly something workable. Job in the 31st chapter says he has
chosen to be intentional and make a covenant with his eyes not to look at a
woman lustfully. That simply put means he will be deliberate about the things
he rivets his attention from so that he doesn’t feed the mind with the wrong
food knowing that the repercussion will eventually affect the heart and the
battle on purity.
Just to
ponder on,
Making a covenant with your eyes will save your skin in many
ways but it takes time to develop the discipline.
The art of creating a shield around yourself will also be super
awesome. For instance, the knowledge that as a believer, you have been bought at
a price and you are not your own, you are the Lords. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Always arise and take captive every arguments, thoughts and pretentions
that raises themselves against the knowledge of God in your life 2 Corinthians
10:5
It’s a tough battle but we are more than conquerors…do not
feel condemned. You are loved and you can do this.
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