I sometimes get shocked about how careless
some of us are in our conversation. Words either break or make. They either
heal or destroy. No one can ever return the words spoken out. Sometimes we hurt
others badly when we utter careless words and no matter how we try to undo, the
results are there to stay.
So, the other day, I am having this long phone call
with a good friend. As usual, his first lament is that he wants to really meet
this man and give him a hard buddy fist. Then he says that it is important to
get married and have children when I am still young. He even does the breakdown
of the children growing up and suggest that
if you are over 30 years with no child yet, that implies that your child
will be in form one while you are at 50 years. His argument is that there will
be a difficulty in raising the child because they will be thinking of you as
their ‘ancestor’. We had a long conversation. Mainly trying to bring a few things
into perspective…
First of all, as girl in my late twenties, I can
bet you I have heard a lot of annoying stuff. Sometimes scary as far as matters
getting children is concerned. First, it was, ooh, “you should bring up your child when
you are still young. Children born later in life are normally intellectual
dwarfs; that staying too long may cause fibroids etc.” So many things have been
pegged negatively on a woman’s life and everyone in the world is always
screaming at you. then."Get a man. If it’s too hard, then just get a baby and forget
marriage."
But today, I write to encourage one who has heard
those sentiments like a gazillion times.
First of all, no one should give you pressure to
settle or the just have a baby kind of thing. I believe that children are a
heritage from the Lord. Children are a
heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him (Psalms 127:3) No one is guaranteed to have them. You see, the irony
of life is that today:
- A teenager will indulge in unplanned sex on her way to school. Without realizing it, she begins spewing saliva and insisting on wearing her mother’s oversize jumper even when the sun is up the sky.
- Another girl will just have a single one night and lo and behold, she is pregnant.
- Yet another will get married at 24 years and stay for years only to conceive at 40 year.
- Another will be married at 33 and conceive in honey moon.
- And another will use FP, have protected sex but still conceive.
So what am I saying, nobody knows when the other
will really get a child or whether that will be because, they are a blessing
that most certainly not all are guaranteed. Sometimes people don’t decide to
have children 15 years after their last child had been born. It just happens.
The same way no one plans to have a child with disability or who needs special
care.
Let no one ever tell you that getting married later
will give you a hard time raising your children. It is pure nonsense. You can
marry early and still wait forever to have the bundles of joy but the Joy of
the Lord will still be your strength. Equally, you can marry old and get a baby
a.s.a.p. All we need is to have the wisdom to discern the voice of God in all
the situations we are in. Either of the extreme doesn’t imply that there is
something wrong with you. There could be yes but also, like with the story of
the man born blind, Jesus is asked by the crowd on why he is blind. They ask, “Is
it because of his sins or his parent’s sins” Jesus replies and says, no, “It
was so, so that the name of God will be known and glorified”. His disciples
asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this
man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor
his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works
of God might be displayed in him(John 9:2-3).
As one
Nadira writes https://nadirahangail.com/2016/05/25/mind-your-own-womb/ here, just leave people’s stomach alone. And
yes, even if one marries and conceives early or late, your child will be
handsome and beautiful to behold like it was said of baby Moses by the Egyptian
midwives.
There is nothing wrong in marrying later in life or
earlier in life. The beauty is in beginning marriage life with the right person. A right
person that together you will built your home and raise godly offspring’s who
will not only be a blessing to your home and the body of Christ, but a blessing
to the nations and a gift to humanity. 15 But did He not make them one, having a
remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.( Malachi 2:15)
Love
Sisters Keeper.
Tripples121
