Think you got an ugly past? Well almost everyone has!

Romans 8:1,”There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

I am a hymns’ girl and most of the time find myself reflecting on the rich lyrics in these old school composition. One such I have been pondering was ‘And Can it be that I Should Gain’ Hymn.

“No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine!
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness Divine,
Bold I approach the eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach the eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.”

Well, you have no idea how reassuring that composition is especially if you know that you might be having a past that you look at and the only word you think of is Grace. It is a profound reminder that the past does not determine the future but rather prepares us for the future.

A lovely lady shared this with me after our groupie accountability fellowship. Thought I should encourage someone

“I feel so bad, I have failed God, and I have failed myself. I have failed my future husband and I just want to die like now,”(Let’s call her Purity) she says.

“Hey, hey heey, come on slow before you crucify yourself and the judge is yet to make His verdict,” I interject in a light manner.

“I am serious, ”she adds.” I fell and I feel dirty, used and the greatest sinner. I hate myself. I feel horrible.” By then she was in tears and couldn’t even look me in the eye. I looked at that girlie, my peer and I felt bad at the level of self-condemnation that she carried on her head! We talked for long, I encouraged her on that huge stone we sat on at the basketball court. We cried together. I held her hand and we prayed. The mistake had been done, and we both agreed it was wrong. But what next after the milk has been poured? And the unlikely candidate has licked a honeycomb that is not theirs?

That evening on a pale city sundown, we talked about the stories of unlikely women who were in the every aspect limited by their past lives. We talked about Tamar, a woman who was a victim of sexual abuse, and a schemy woman too who ended up deceiving his father in law into siring him children; Of Rahab, a prostitute lady who turns good and helps Joshua and his team. She ends up giving birth to Boaz, who begats Obed, and Jesse who is the root of David the King where Christ is lineage is established. We talk about the past of these women and the latter days and how grace turns their lives around.

We talk about grace, and I assure her that if we confess our sins, He forgives; that there is no condemnation for her, and she has to forgive herself as the Lord has.

A gradual process it was but eventually it happened. She has become an encouragement and the best accountability I could ask for. Asking me hard questions and demanding answers in a bold but loving ways. Today she is a strong, healed and an instrumental lady in my life. She taught me to extend grace as I am a recipient of the same. Today, young as she is, her story now encourages many more…

There is no condemnation. We all have a past that grace has set us free from. Are you feeling that you have such an ugly past? Well, Rahab had, so did Tamar and so does every other person you look around and see as if they have it all figured out.

Let your past serve to prepare you for the greater future.

#Amazinggrace

#NocondemnationtothemthatareinChristJesus

The Grace Card

It was a good day at work. Being a Friday with moderate warmth made it even more exciting. Perhaps it is because everyone is always thrilled about the weekend with the gazillion plans that never get actualized. For her however, more sleep and getting cozy under the covers with her Amor is what made her weekends. Occasional breakfast in bed made it epic. After work today, Steph headed for the grocery as is her norm before going home. Broccoli, amaranth garlic, ginger etc. But she needed garlic specially to go fix “pilau” for dinner. She has been doing this and today, hers’ is a famous name amongst the grocery selling ladies who are peculiarly friendly with her. One day as she was within earshot, she had overheard them giggle and whisper aloud.

“This young girl has been raised well, from the ring it is obvious that she is married and taking care of her man well…I wish my daughter grows up to be like her,” said mama Nice. “I wish,” said mama Glo to her companion all of a sudden thinking about her girl who drives her nuts; she is always dreading the next report to hear about her. ‘I failed” she had lamented but Mama Nice comforted her. You see, Steph is one of those women who likes to paint her lips with pale colors accentuating her African queen chocolate complexion. She wears striking heels that bequeaths her feet with such elegance; a woman commanding the aura of the last boss standing. But that girl cooks. Her food is to die for. She does her grocery shopping and cooks for her family. That astounds many in her circus but makes her hubby the proudest of all men. What a formidable combination!

Steph still remembers like yesterday how her aunts had sat her down for the bridal lectures once the wedding date was set ‘‘Soon, you are going to be living with a man baby, even if you forget everything, I want you know that you have a responsibility to keep your marriage. Cook for him. Besides romping sex escapades, food is a way to a man’s heart, stressed Aunty P.” As though following a script aunty Racy took the mantle. “Of big booties you can never avoid, they are everywhere; at work, homes, malls, streets, and even in church! Just make sure your man finds no reason to stare away from home.” Amidst giggles and spurts of laughter she continued to give her wisdom. “One thing is that no matter how tired you are my girl; never deny that man his other food". And you better be ready to explore that world with him, emphasized aunty Racy. Steph smiled shyly but deep down wondering how this aunty who was unmarried and kept changing men like baby diapers could ooze such statements when she could hardly sustain a single man in her bed. “Yes Aunty, she answered with a nod.” “Be flexible too and let not your bedroom escapades be limited to what I can only term as Dead Cockroach Syndrome”, she added lightly as the entire room burst into hysterical laughter’s.

That day, the panel of women who religiously attended to her in preparation for her wedding and subsequently marriage told her many things. But of the many things, she did not forget this; the place of food on her house; serving his man a gourmet stomach food and the other “soul” food. After the wedding, she had resolved that, Glory was a man who deserved to be served pound yam ugali and jollof rice with a combination of stew. He was a good man. He deserved better than indomie and eggs fix; and she was delighted to pull off her heels and throw off her trench coat after a hectic day and cook for the man who had robbed her of her heart.

Two years of pure bliss, cemented love story, trust and loyalty. She had no regrets and was glad to count Glory, her lover, her second best blessing after God; her significant other. Theirs was a match made in heaven, and like a beetle and the cow dung, they were inseparable! They knew each other so well. So well such that either could sense the smell of the other from a crowd.  For the last two years, Steph has continued to work hard to make theirs a simple and refreshing home for the hubby and anyone visiting. When she is not working during the weekend, her house is full of activities; the kitchen with foods all over the counter, onions sizzling and whistling in a pan with oil; Her hands kneading the dough, scaling the fishes (which are his favorite by the way), or perhaps chopping fruits for making fresh smoothies. She cooks not just to feed up his man but because she enjoys it.

So, today like any other Friday she passes through the grocery shop on her way from work. Today is a special day for them. Ideally, after the series of events that have clouded their blossoming marriage that is just shooting its bud, it would be understood if she just opted for a Chinese take away or grab something from a Mc Donald’s but she does not.

She enjoys cooking and singing along her favorite hymns. From the patio of her kitchen directly overlooking her garden, her singing reverberation can be picked in-sequentially.  She is humming “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound”.

From the tone, she sounds so calm and peaceful.

When Glory comes back and lets himself into the living, his woman is so lost in her singing that the only other sound is of knife clattering and a joyful woman doing her magic in the kitchen. 

Afraid to disturb that innocent joy, Glory tiptoes and just peeps at this woman who has loved him so effortlessly without limitations.

“How can she be so happy after the stupid mistake and such incomprehensible pain I caused her? She even comes home after a hectic workshop and fixes dinner for a man who has broken his vow to protect her? I so don’t deserve this girl,” Glory thought.

He stands transfixed for about 5 minutes before his chains of thoughts are rudely interrupted by the sudden ‘Oh my goodness’ scream of Steph who has touched a hot sauce pan lid that she let reel down in thud.

“Ouch,ouch…this really hurts,” mourns Steph in a loud thought as she massages the burnt finger with flour.

“Am sorry babe,” Glory finds himself saying apologetically as he unconsciously reaches out to Steph over the kitchen counter.  “Let me see that.”

“I didn’t know you were home yet Mi amor? And I missed you this morning too. So how was work today? asks  Steph, as her husband blows  a puff of cold air on the wounded finger. Hiding his excitement; she had called him “Miamor”

Looking straight in her eyes, he holds the gaze. Instead of answering, he lets his eyes speak. “You are a beautiful woman sweetie, a kind soul and such a blessing to me. I am glad you chose me. And you sing so beautifully I just got content watching you oozing with such joy…I love you. I am sorry.” 

Steph, freezes as he blows cold air into the burn. After nights of obvious avoidance, she didn’t see their conversation heading this way. His hands linger abit farther and naturally reaches for her waist. Steph trembles. It has been 3 days now of silent treatment and it is proving unbearable. The volcano especially in Glory’s heart is threatening to spew its contents far and wide. 

“I have missed you my flower, he says.”  Glory doesn’t understand why his other half is acting so calm and in control and it terrified him. For the last three nights, it was impossible for Glory to come close to her. She felt unsafe around him. He didn’t know what to think. The hands that touched her so tenderly felt like talons of a falcon and the eyes that gave her a snapshot of heaven scared life out of her.

As he holds her at the kitchen, she feels a conglomeration of feelings that leaves her dumbstruck; Fear, Anger, betrayal, Love, grace. She lets him massage her waist briefly and she lifts up her eyes to reach out to him.

And in a whisper, she says “Happy birthday to you my darling, am glad you are home.” Holding his chin with flour coated finger, “Now go up and change, let me wrap up the cooking and set the table, we need to celebrate your birthday, okay…”

“Oh my goodness, you remembered sweet, baked a cake and now cooking? counters a perplexed Glory. “Well, it’s my husband’s birthday and also the day he proposed to me…I figured out what happened 3 nights ago shouldn’t cause us to forego this celebration. Now go freshen up. I will see you at the dining table in 10 minutes. He blows her a kiss and heads for their bedroom. 

He stares at the neatly made bed and recalls with nostalgia the first night at their matrimonial bed. The passion shared, intimacy expressed and the glorious sex. Huh, just like his name, glory. It was a beautiful memory that left him smiling absentmindedly. He has been sleeping at the guest bedroom for those three nights. He couldn’t bear see her bae cry. The thought of her hurt crushes him. He regrets it and swears that tonight, he has to come clean. Steph deserves the truth for starters and so much respect and protection. He broke her trust when he came in smelling a woman’s perfume and traces of her collar carrying remnants of a pale lipstick that tells a story of some lips making a detour in the wrong lane. He has to tell her the truth that it is not what she thinks. He wanted to tell her how he feels, that she is the one and only. She hadn’t fought with him when she saw the red lipstick. She just kept quiet and wouldn’t let him lay his fingers on her.

"She has fixed my dinner and let me know that she missed me in the morning... I can't believe it, Glory thought quietly as he reached for his bathrobe. "How lucky can a man get? I have to make this right with my gal and am gona do that tonight before dinner lest the broccoli flower chooses to choke me before I tell her about the lipstick." 

Glory gets a quick shower and goes downstairs to an already set dinner. A candle lit dinner. This woman loves her and it is evident right in his face.

As he sits down beside her on the opposite side of the table, he feels uneasy and as if Steph senses it reaches her hands to his.

'' Let's pray for the meal sweet, am sure you are dying to sample out the special menu tonight, she says with brief smile forming around her fleshy lips." He smiles back and relaxes...

" I need to talk to you about Tuesday darling,” he spurts before pushing his knife and folk aside.

“Sssh," she tries to shush him to no avail. “Let's talk after dinner miamor. Please.” 

But he wouldn't listen. She lets him speak and explain himself.

"First of all, I am sorry babe that I let you go through such unimaginable pain. It broke me every time I tried to touch you and see you cringe in distrust and am sorry. The lipstick you saw was from a woman at work, the very one I told you about causing scene with me; my boss. We worked late. She made coffee. I don't know what happened because the next time I came to my senses she was all over me. I was confused sweetie, kind of dragged but I swear nothing happened.  “What!” Steph squirms on her seat with eyes threatening to pop out of their sockets! “Are you serious?” she interjects him. “Yes, baby, yeees…I didn’t know what to tell you that night. I swear I wanted to but didn’t know what to make of it all and am sorry,” says Glory remorsefully. She threatened to give me a hell of time if I say a thing about.  I wanted to thin first too. I was torn, but I resigned today. I couldn’t lose my wife. Another job I can find but not another you princess. ”

She stares at him dumbstruck, tears running down her cheeks leaving a warm sensation. Her eyes searching his, he leans over the table towards him.

“You remember that church I attend morning devotions once in a while?” “Yeah, sure” he replies. “I was there today and we were given a challenge by the preacher, an old card. A card he asked that we give it to someone who has or we feel has wronged us. He called it a “Grace Card”. I have been thinking about him today and what he said and I knew I had to give it to someone, you, miamor; I want my husband to come home and experience the joy in his house, ” says Steph amidst more tears.

Unclasping her hands from his, she reaches for her office bag in the living room and pulls out the tiny old card, whose inscription ignited a light of new beginning. Grace. Forgiveness. Looking at his lover eye ball to eyeball, she hands over the grace card. They stay crying together for long. Food is long forgotten and cold, but a marriage has been resurrected. That night, he sleeps beside her in their matrimonial bed. His skin rubbing against hers; inhaling the scent of her shampoo. He watches her sleep and as he finally doses off, he knows he is blessed to have Steph as his wing lady!

The grace card saved him.

The virtuous She

The virtuous woman who can find? For her worth is far above the rubies.
A couple of weeks ago, I had an opportunity to share in a church in town during a ladies conference. As you can almost guess, the theme was on proverbs 31 She. I focused only on two verses, vs 10 and vs 25
A virtuous woman who can find? For her worth is far more than the rubies...
Vs 25, She is clothed in dignity and strength and she will laugh in the days to come.
The biggest Q in my teaching was who then is a virtuous woman? Are they even there? And if they are,Where do you find her?  The noble woman in this chapter does many things that most of us can't seem to even reach half of. She is an entrepreneur, she is a homemaker, she works with her hands to make flax, she has helps but she wakes up so early to prepare her households. She considers a field and buys, she plants vineyard, fetches her food from afar etc. I ask myself how this is possible for a single woman who by all means doesn't even need to work because her husband is a respectable and wealthy man and her attitude appals me.
Then two things came out strongly during my preparation for the teaching.
The divine positioning of this She and the source of her strength. Just like the rubies, which are deep seated in the earth's ground, not on the surface to be accessed by just any person, the virtuous woman is divinely positioned and hidden in Christ. She is so hidden than a man has to first seek the heart of Christ to find her. And clearly, its only a man who is resilient to search deep and tenacious enough will be able to find her. The Lord,has her so hidden in His wings because she has made the Lord God her habitation and she dwells in the shelter of the Almighty, Psams 91.
The second thing is her supernatural strength to accomplish a to do list than most of us can't even half. And I realised that the source of her magnificent strength had to be mundane. The virtuous woman knows all too well that the flesh may fail her, but the Lord is the strength of her heart, her everlasting portion, psalms 73:26.
She also understands that even young men who are perceived to be strong may grow faint at heart but they that wait upon the Lord,their strength they shall renew and like eagles mount on high, Isaiah 40.28.

And for the married men who were in the gathering of His people, a simple remainder for them was to pray for their wives to find strength in God like Jonathan helped David at Mt Horesh during the battle with his father.

A virtuous woman always reminds herself every morning before facing the world that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her. Yes, ALL THINGS!
And as Paul writes to the Philippians, her nobility is pegged on her character and virtues he shares in 4:6 she focuses on what's true,noble,right,pure,lovely,admirable and praiseworthy!
We may not be there yet, but we are slowly being made!
Be glad sweet girlie, You may not be a girl that everyone likes but the good thing is that you are not the girl everyone had!

Growing in Secret

Luke 1 ²⁴ After this his wife Elizabeth became pregnant and for five months remained in seclusion. ²⁵ “The Lord has done this for me,” she said. “In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people.”

Have you gotten that promotion at work? Have you finally got that automobile of your dreams or just conceived after a long wait in marriage? What is it? Or has the man of your dreams finally proposed?  What miracle has happened to you lately and you just can’t keep it to yourself? Is it that scholarship to pursue your studies abroad? I know you are excited but calm down sweety, relax and breath in. Ask yourself one question. Why? Why do you want to scream it out to the world that finally it has happened?

For a long time now, I have realized that there are certain trends in my life that given a chance I wouldn’t want to retrace those paths. For the twenty something years I have lived, I now know  that many things I ever wanted to pursue aborted along the way because of unwise use of a little part of my body I call the tongue. One day I wake up with such a vivid dream and vision that I even write down but because I am bubbling with excitement, I end up spewing that to friends and those that I deem close. Because it’s a crazy and humanly far-fetched dream, some whom I need approval from stump on it and the next thing I know is that it’s dead!

After studying the story of Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, I discovered that I have continued to make the same mistakes over and over again. Telling the wrong people about my dreams and to ‘pursue’ list forgetting that even those who are closest enough are hardly entirely happy for your progress; like most friends, they will just be content that you are doing well but not better off than them.

I am learning from this woman Elizabeth an important concept. She had been an object of sheer mockery because of her barrenness but one day when God lifts her reproach and she conceives, she hides herself for five months to allow the blessing to grow first before she speaks about it.

Hiding herself in this context does not suggest in any way hiding from the presence of God but rather to say, she did not go forth into public with the news but concealed her condition until it was right to share out. The need for hiding to grow is mainly to allow you time to engage with God, giving praise to God for his mercies, and that she might have the fullest proof of the accomplishment of the promise before she appeared in public or spoke of the mercies of God. (This is not to suggest by any means that Elizabeth doubted the accuracy of Gods miracle, the sign was already there with her husband being stricken dumb. Therefore, it would be wrong to assume that she didn’t believe and just wanted to confirm the Lord had taken her reproach. She actually says the reason for her hiding is because the Lord has lifted her reproach, by that time, she is certain that she is pregnant.)

Hiding and concealing your blessing is not only to let it grow before the “enemy” tries to destroy it but rather to seek the Lord and find grace to sustain the blessing before it is birth.

ü  I have learned to be slow in sharing good news with others before I have thoroughly talked it over with God.

ü  I have also learned that the things I feel most strongly about are the things I ought to be silent about until am sure it’s time to speak out.

Have you been telling the wrong people about the most intricate aspects of your life? Take it easy, learn to grow in silence and speak out once the plant has shot up from the grown stable roots that can’t be cut off!

Thoughtful Thursday 101…Christ our example in Suffering

This week has been particularly difficult for me as an individual. Lots of unprecedented hurt and misunderstanding that left me sad and broken. I found myself loathing people and the world in its entirety. I asked myself dozens of questions on why pain is just culminating every other side of life. Family breaking, young mother losing their child, a husband losing the wife during delivery, another being forcefully asked out job, another being hurt by a lover, and yet another being jeered because of their faith with the famous question of; “What have you got to show for waiting on this God you have faithfully believed since I could remember?”

I love the letter of Peter very much and the fact that he emphasizes on the place of suffering in the Christian walk could perhaps be the greatest inspiration. Today in the morning, I have reflecting on this passage and got a few nuggets on how Christian are to respond in the midst of suffering and pain.

 1 peter 1 vs 6, He writes “In all this (suffering) you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

That suffering basically tests, strengthens and purifies our faith after which, in a little while will result in Glory to God.

Could it be that yours is a boss you loath and most of the times you are tempted to call fourth fire and brim storms to fall on his bald forehead? Well, I was gentle being reminded that Christian faith cannot be separated from the calling of suffering. God wants us to submit even to the inconsiderate employer of them all.

2 peter ¹⁸ Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. ¹⁹ For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. ²⁰ But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. ²¹ To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps.

Then I learnt that suffering open doors for witnessing about the Christ crucified. How you may ask? When those colleagues rise up to question about your strong Christian stand about a function at workplace, will you cow down and say after all I am the minority and let the majority walk in their belief?

1 peter 3  ¹⁵ But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶ keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. ¹⁷ For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

He continues to implore us as believer to count it all joy when we go through various kinds of trials. Why? Because, through sharing the suffering of Christ, the same way shall we participate in His glory. So, it’s actually an honor to suffer for His cause.

1 peter 4 ¹² Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. ¹³ But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Again he writes to say that no matter what happens, a little suffering is a prerequisite for the experiencing His glory. The joy of all this is that the suffering is temporary and after a small while, the Lord God restores. Yaay, that’s a profound truth right there!

1 peter 5 ¹⁰ And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. ¹¹ To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

And in Part 2 of his letter, despite the suffering we go through, Peter encourages us to

Make every effort to be found spotless and at peace with Christ when He comes 2 Peter 3:11

Guard ourselves against false teachers 2 Peter 3:14

Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ 2 Peter 3:18